


keep a slip knot in the strings you attach

by inlovewithnight



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Kid Fic, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 08:46:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7567735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithnight/pseuds/inlovewithnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron is really, really not ready to be a parent. Not now, and probably not ever. </p><p>Luckily, he doesn't have to take anything on alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	keep a slip knot in the strings you attach

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fouronforeplay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fouronforeplay/gifts).



Willie calls him really early, which is weird, because why the hell would Willie be up early on a regular practice day? _Aaron_ is not up early. Aaron was still very much asleep when his phone rang.

“You need to come over here,” Willie says, like, he doesn’t even say hello, he just says that when Aaron manages to hold the phone right side up and mumble into it.

“Why?” It can’t be for sex. An early-morning wakeup is not how coming over for sex works. Early-morning sex is only if Aaron slept over the night before, warm and cozy between them and ideally after having sex already, because waking up and getting down to it is awesome, but waking up, _driving_ , and getting down to it _sucks_.

“Just get over here.”

“What’s going on?” Aaron asks, but Willie has already hung up. That’s even more weird.

Aaron stares at the phone for a minute, then gets up and starts looking for clothes. Apparently the only way to find out what’s going on is to drive over to the Mitchells’.

**

When he gets to the house, Pinot is in the back yard barking his head off. Another weird thing. They _never_ ignore Pinot when he’s barking.

He lets himself in and goes to the living room and Megan is sitting on the couch with her face all red and puffy from _crying_ and Aaron isn’t even going to try to keep track of the weirdness anymore, because this is off the charts.

Willie is sitting next to her, holding one of her hands and talking softly, too softly for Aaron to hear. He sort of skids to a halt where the hallway hardwood switches into the living-room hardwood and clears his throat. “You guys? What’s wrong?”

Megan looks up and her eyes fill with tears and she starts crying _again_ , oh fuck. Someone must have died.

“Aaron,” Willie says carefully, “there’s something…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, though, he stops and just looks at Megan. Aaron tries to wait patiently, but there’s just no way. This is too weird for patience.

“Are you sick?” he asks finally. “I mean… either of you? Sick or, like… are you getting divorced?”

“No,” Megan says, her voice all thick and wrecked and awful. “No, sweetie, we’re not getting divorced.”

“Then what?” His heart is pounding way too hard for just standing in the living room. “What’s _wrong_?”

Megan glances at Willie and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m pregnant.”

It feels like his heart _stops_ for a minute, and then steadies out at its normal pace. “Oh. Oh, wow. That’s… that’s great, though, right? You’re having a baby.” His brain starts catching up, then, from where it got lost in confusion. “But you can’t have babies. You told me that when we—”

She shakes her head and clears her throat again. “Willie and I can’t have kids. Together. His… his sperm don’t…”

“But apparently yours do,” Willie says, and Aaron’s brain blanks out all over again.

“But we were careful,” he says, when he can squeeze air out of his lungs again, and sound out of his throat. “You used that… that stuff, every time.” He’d figured they would use condoms, he’d always just used condoms, but Megan said they didn’t have to, that she used this… this stuff, before sex, she put it up inside herself and it made her even more wet and slick, it was _awesome_ , and it was supposed to _keep this from happening_.

“Spermicide gel,” she says, and right, he should be able to remember that, but it’s definitely not the point right now. “There’s… it’s a fifteen percent failure rate, but I thought… I mean, there was never any chance with Will and I guess I just…”

“We all got complacent,” Willie says, and Aaron takes a deep breath, because Willie sitting there in silence had been fucking with him more than he thought. Willie’s still holding Meg’s hand, and his voice isn’t angry. He doesn’t sound _happy_ , but how could he, with Meg crying and Aaron standing there like a jackass and saying stupid shit.

He waits for one of them to say something else, but they don’t, they just sit there looking at him. “So… um, so when is it going to be born?” They still don’t say anything, they just blink at each other and then look at him again. “What?”

“You don’t… I mean…” Megan gestures helplessly with her free hand.

“I don’t what?”

“It’s _your baby_ , Aaron.” Willie’s voice is harsher now, like he’s choking. “You’re the father.”

“Um.” Aaron shakes his head and takes a step back. “No? I mean… you guys are married, you’re, like, adults, you can… _I_ can’t have a baby. No way.”

Megan wipes her eyes again. She’s holding on to Willie’s hand so tightly her knuckles are white; that has to hurt, she should stop it or it might fuck with Willie’s stick-handling. “You… you’d really be okay if we kept the baby?”

“Of course! It’s your baby! You should do what you want with it!”

“I know the right thing to do is have an abortion.” She starts crying again, and Willie pulls her into his arms, her face against his shoulder. Her voice is all muffled but Aaron knows her well enough—knows _them_ well enough—that he can make it out. “But I want this baby, I want it really bad.”

“We both made peace with not having kids,” Willie said, and now he sounds like _he_ might cry and Aaron is not in any way prepared for this. “So this is… it’s a big change, a huge surprise, but it’s also kind of like a miracle, you know?”

Aaron wants to say no, it’s not a miracle at all, babies happening is horrifying and weird and something he’s been afraid of experiencing since he was fifteen. But it’s not happening to his life, it’s happening to _theirs_ , and they want it. And they should stop _crying_.

“You guys will be awesome parents,” he says instead. “As long as you don’t leave it outside when it cries like you’re doing to Pinot.”

“Oh, shit,” Megan says. She tries to stand up, but Willie doesn’t let go of her, just starts whispering in her ear again, so Aaron goes and lets the dog in himself. It’s a good way to get a breather, too. A little space.

Holy shit, a _baby_.

“Do I get to be an uncle?” he yells back down the hall. He doesn’t want to go back in if they’re not done crying yet. It makes his stomach hurt.

He hears a helpless little laugh from Megan before Willie answers. “Yeah. Uncle Eks.”

Aaron looks down at Pinot and shrugs. “Works for me.”

**

Willie says they have to wait before they tell people, because Megan is a little older and there are risks. Aaron kind of tunes out the details of that because they’re gross and make him feel queasy. The part that matters is that Willie will tell the team when it’s the right time, and Aaron will tell nobody ever.

When Willie does tell them, everybody cheers and slaps him on the back and they all go out for drinks. It’s pretty awesome. Aaron likes seeing everyone so happy, and he likes seeing Willie at the center of it, a huge smile on his face, talking about how he’s going to be a dad.

At the bar, Lu makes his way over to where Aaron’s sitting and pulls up a chair next to him. “Pretty nice retirement present for Mitchie, huh?”

Aaron nods, swirling his drink in its glass. “For sure.”

“Big surprise, though. I mean, we were playing together in Van when they found out they couldn’t have kids.” Lu is watching Aaron steadily, not even pretending not to look. “It was rough on both of them. You can imagine.”

“Uh.” Aaron takes a drink to buy a moment, then shrugs. “I guess, yeah.”

“But here we are, what, a decade later? And there’s a baby after all.”

“Miracle baby,” Aaron says, nodding again. “That’s what he said.”

“You’re not religious, are you, Aaron?”

Aaron blinks, because what the fuck. “Uh. No?”

“Yeah, well.” Lu finishes his drink and stands up again. “I’m a Catholic, and let me tell you, miracles are never as clean and shiny as they look. You check behind a miracle and you’re gonna find a bunch of martyrs.” Aaron’s brow furrows, and Lu sighs. “Dead people.”

“I’m pretty sure nobody died.”

“It’s a metaphor. Jesus. What are they teaching you kids these days?”

Aaron shrugs, doing his best wide-eyed, empty-headed look over his glass. “Hockey, mostly.”

Lu rolls his eyes and stomps off, and Aaron lets himself sag in his seat, putting his hand over his chest like pressure will make his heart slow down. Maybe they should’ve made a better plan for dealing with the people who actually paid attention.

**

Lu doesn't say anything else, but sometimes he looks. Aaron keeps his head down in the room and doesn't look back. He's got other things on his mind; the season is winding on. He's not going to be up for the Norris, but he wants to be solid. He wants there to be no complaints, no if-onlys.

He's surprised when, a week after Willie tells the team, he stops Aaron after practice in the hall outside the weight room. "You want to come over tonight, kid?"

"Um." Aaron blinks. "I still can?"

"Of course." Willie looks confused, then frowns. "You don't think this changes anything, do you?"

Aaron shrugs. "It changes a lot."

"Not how we feel about you." Willie squeezes Aaron's arm. "Come over. Dinner and then we'll show you how nothing has changed."

"Am I... Is it even allowed to do that with a pregnant lady?"

Willie laughs a little. "Definitely."

"It doesn't hurt the baby?"

"Kid. You need some anatomy lessons."

"I don't want to know too much! It ruins it!"

"It doesn't... you know what, fine." Willie squeezes his arm again. "You'll come over?"

"Yeah." Relief blossoms in Aaron's chest, warm and full. "I'll be there."

**

They still spend lots of time together while Megan is pregnant. It's weird watching her get bigger and rounder; it's kind of scary seeing how her moods change and her brain gets all distracted. Making a baby changes you. He never really got that.

But she's still Megan, and she and Willie are both still so good to him, making him feel safe and secure even when things are crazy confusing.

The season passes faster than it seems possible. They make the first round of the playoffs in a wildcard slot, and he knows they're not going to have a Cinderella story, he knows that never happens, but the little extension of things feels like magic, feels like maybe--

They're knocked out in five and it's over. The season is done. Willie has played his last game.

They're going to leave.

Megan is too far along to fly, so they'll stay through the summer, until the baby is born and old enough to travel so far. Aaron can't stay, though. There's no way to explain it and he can't give everything away, not now. He has obligations and expectations in Barrie. He has Biosteel camp. He has to go.

He spends his last night in Florida in their bed, curled to the swell of Meg's belly with Willie pressed up behind him. It's so good, so safe and warm, and it's the last time it will ever be just the three of them, ever again.

**

The baby is born a week early. She's tiny and red and looks like a baby, all scrunchy and unfinished. Willie sends Aaron fifty pictures the first day.

They name her Danica; Willie says it's Croatian like his mom, Megan says it's just pretty. Aaron looks closely at the pictures and just sees a baby. He doesn't feel anything.

Good.

**

The front office calls him in before camp and asks him if he's ready to be Captain. He tells them not yet, please, he's just... he's just not, yet. They nod and only look a little disappointed and name D-Mac instead.

He doesn't tell Willie and Megan about it. They're pretty busy. Danica gets bigger every day. 

They send Aaron a lot of pictures, and he saves them all carefully. He doesn’t see any resemblance to himself, no matter how hard he looks, but when Willie and Megan call or Skype him they always talk about how she has Aaron’s nose or eyes, and when she gets a little older and starts reacting to things more, they say she has his smile.

“It’s lopsided just like yours,” Megan says, laughing into the camera and holding Danica up so he can see her. “I love it, it’s so adorable.”

“Lopsided?” Aaron protests, but he isn’t really offended. He’s busy looking at Danica, waiting for her to smile so he can see for himself. Willie’s hand reaches in front of the camera and tickles the baby’s belly, and there it is, laughter and a smile. 

Aaron feels—weird. His stomach, and his chest. Weird and tight and warm. 

“Hey, Danica,” he says, because he’s got to say something, he can’t just sit there. “Hi, Little Mitchell.”

“We’re taking her out on the boat tomorrow,” Willie says, moving around so Aaron can see his face. “She needs to get to know the water.”

“Of course she does.” Aaron still feels weird, watching Megan bounce the baby a little and nuzzle the sandy-brown fuzz she has for hair at this point. “How old will she be when you get her a fishing pole?”

“That’s a little ways out,” Willie says, without a hint of humor, and Aaron grins at the camera, suddenly missing them so much his throat hurts. 

“You guys gonna come down and see a game before the end of the season?” he asks, trying to sound casual and not really managing it. 

Willie glances over at Megan. “We’ll try, yeah. It’s harder to take a trip with the little one, you know? She has a lot of gear.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Aaron chokes down his disappointment and locks it away somewhere behind his heart. 

Megan clears her throat and shifts the baby to her hip, leaning closer to the camera. “We miss you, you know.”

Some of the ache eases. Not a lot. But some. “I miss you too. So much.”

“We’ll make a visit happen,” Willie says quietly, his eyes all warm and gentle and fuck, Aaron has yet again failed at being cool and adult and in control of his shit. “I promise.”

“Thanks.” He forces a smile. “Maybe the playoffs, huh? We’ve got a decent shot at going back this year.”

Willie gives him a stern look, one that Aaron’s missed more than he can really admit or put into words at all. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. Focus on the next game, not the end of the season. It’s a long road.”

“Yes, sir.” He can feel his smile getting less forced and more stupid. “You guys probably have a lot to do, eh?”

“Almost bedtime for this one.” Megan tilts Danica toward the camera. “Say goodnight to Uncle Aaron, baby.”

“Goodnight, baby,” Aaron says, watching her face scrunch up and her eyes track around, trying to find the source of the sound. “Aw, she’s great.”

“She really is.” Willie’s voice sounds rough, emotional, and Aaron braces himself. “You’ve got no idea what a gift you gave us, Eks.”

“I didn’t do anything,” he says. “Really, I didn’t.”

Megan reaches over and touches Willie’s arm, cutting him off before he can answer. “Okay, sweetie,” she says. “If that’s what you think, that’s what you think.”

The only thing he doesn’t love about them is when they talk to him like he’s a dumb kid. Literally the only thing. “I better get going, too, I guess. We’ll talk again soon?”

“Absolutely,” Willie says, nodding at him in his serious way. “Love you, Aaron.”

“I love you too,” he says, and disconnects from Skype before he forgets how to breathe.

**

They do come down to Florida, just before the first round of the playoffs, and they leave Danica with Willie’s mom. Aaron wasn’t expecting that, but he definitely isn’t going to argue. The idea of babyproofing his apartment was terrifying, and having Willie and Meg’s attention just on him is amazing. He’s probably making a fool of himself, soaking up their affection like a dry sponge, but he can’t help it. It’s been a really long season, and he’s felt so alone for so much of it.

They’re all lying in bed together, tangled up in the sheets and each other’s limbs, Aaron trying to wake himself up enough to offer to go get water and the cookies he and Megan baked earlier for old time’s sake.

“Eks?” Willie’s voice is soft. 

“Mm.”

“Can we talk to you about something?”

Aaron’s whole body goes tense so fast it hurts. He groans, burying his face against the mattress and taking a choked breath. “Um. Shit. Yeah, sure. Of course.”

“Honey.” Meg’s arm slips around his waist, pulling him closer to her. “It’s nothing bad, really! Don’t worry.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, trying to take a real breath. “Just, you know. That sounded like… like maybe you were…”

“We’re not,” she says firmly. “Will, go get some water, please? And the cookies.”

Aaron wants to laugh and say something about great minds thinking alike, but he’s still pretty focused on breathing. Meg keeps her arm around him, holding them together, and that helps a little bit. 

“I’m okay,” he says finally, when he hears Willie’s footsteps coming back down the hall. “Let me sit up? I’m fine, really.”

“We’re not breaking up with you,” Willie says, shifting the plate of cookies around where it’s balanced on his forearm so he can set the glasses of water on the bedside table. “Don’t even worry about that.”

Aaron brushes his hair off his forehead and frowns, reaching for one of the glasses. “You can’t break up with me. We’re not together.”

Willie looks at Megan, then back to him. “We’re not?”

“No?”

“Since when?”

Aaron has to take a drink before he can answer, because if he doesn’t, he might just completely freak the fuck out. “Well, you live in Vancouver, and I live here, so… how together can we be, you know?”

“We live on Van Isle,” Willie says, and Aaron _knows_ that’s just an automatic correction, but still, it sucks. 

“Whatever.” He drinks the rest of his water and gets out of the bed, looking around for this boxers. “Never mind, forget I said anything.”

“Aaron.” Meg’s voice is softer, a little bit, and he can’t help but look at her. He’s always been worse at pulling away from her. “We can be together without being… exclusive, you know?”

“We assumed you were seeing other people,” Willie says. “Just, you know. That you also wanted us, still.”

“I do!” He gestures at the bed, at his own naked body, at theirs. “Obviously!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know.” He drops his hands in defeat, still without boxers or anything else. “You just. You scared me, I guess.”

“I’m sorry.” Willie sits down on the edge of the bed and holds out the plate of cookies. “Come back to bed, eh?”

“What did you want to talk about?”

“We can talk about it later.”

“I need to talk about it now, or I’m just gonna…” He spreads his hands helplessly. “I’ll worry.”

Megan catches his hand and pulls him over to the bed, guiding him until he sits down between them. “Eat a cookie and catch your breath first. Try to relax a little.”

“You guys are parenting me right now way more than you did when you lived here.” He takes a bite of the cookie, then frowns and spits it back into his hand. “Should I not say that? Is that weird now? Talking about you being, you know. Parents?”

“It’s a little weird. But it’s okay.” Willie sighs and settles his hand on Aaron’s lower back, rubbing gentle circles. “Eat your cookie.”

Aaron does as he’s told, staring down at the floor while he chews and swallows. When he’s done, Willie slips his arm around his waist and tugs him over until they’re leaning on each other. 

“Better?”

Aaron nods and reaches for Meg’s legs, pulling her feet into his lap so both of them are touching him. It feels better that way. “Go ahead and tell me what we need to talk about.”

Willie’s arm tightens a little, then relaxes, and Aaron realizes a beat too late to react that it was a hug. “We really should’ve talked about it sooner, but we were… well, we were all pretty busy, you know?”

Megan snorts. “That’s an understatement.”

“Right.” Willie exhales, his breath ruffling Aaron’s hair. “Okay. Have you told anyone about Danica?”

Aaron frowns, looking down at Meg’s feet. “What do you mean? I told lots of people that you and Meg had a baby.”

“Have you told anyone that you were… involved in that?”

“What?” Aaron jerks his head up so fast he almost clips Willie’s chin. “No! Of course not!”

“Anyone at all? Your brother or your parents or… anybody?”

“He means Bobby Orr,” Megan says. “For some reason he’s terrified of the idea that you might tell Bobby.”

“Bobby’s his agent,” Willie says, talking over Aaron’s head now like he isn’t even there. “He’s gonna worry about protecting his image and his marketability more than any other consideration, and that means—”

“I haven’t told anybody.” Aaron leans back until Willie lets go and he can flop down on his back, staring at the ceiling. “Not my parents, not Darien, definitely not Bobby.”

“You didn’t tell your mom and dad that they’re grandparents?” Megan asks gently.

“They’re _not_ grandparents. Danica’s your kid. Not mine. We _agreed_ on that. I thought that was the whole idea.”

“Biologically, though.” Willie sounds so unhappy. Aaron squeezes his eyes closed and wonders why this is happening, what purpose does this serve. He has a playoff game in thirty-one hours and he’s losing his mind from this whole conversation.

“Do you _want_ me to tell them?” he asks the ceiling. “Is that what this is about? You changed your mind about keeping it a secret?”

Megan answers; he has a feeling that Willie is doing that thing where he’s so worked up he can’t talk at all, because if he does he’ll start shouting. “It’s not that we want you to or don’t want you to, it’s that we want you to know that _if_ you wanted to, we could deal with it.”

He rolls that around in his head for a moment. “Deal with it isn’t very enthusiastic.”

“I suppose not.”

“What are you afraid of?” He’s really asking Willie, but if Meg is the one who answers, he’ll, well. Deal with it. “If my parents know, or Bobby knows, or… whatever, what are you afraid is going to happen?”

Willie’s voice is rough and unsteady and even more unhappy than before. “They could talk you into filing for custody.”

“What? No they couldn’t. You’re on the birth certificate. She’s your baby, legally. It’s all locked in, we took care of that!”

“You could make it a legal case. You could demand a paternity test, and even if you weren’t granted custody it would still be out there, everyone would know, it would be…”

Aaron sits up, pushing Meg’s feet out of his lap as gently as he can manage with his heart pounding so hard it’s choking him. “You think I would do that to you?”

There are tears in Willie’s eyes. “Not on purpose.”

“I would never do that to you. Not ever. Jesus Christ, Willie.” He has to get out of the bed, he can’t be this close to them when they’re saying things like that. “How could you think that?”

“Honey, please.” Megan holds her hand out to him, but Aaron shakes his head and stays away. It’s too much. Way too much.

“Let’s put this on hold,” Willie says carefully. “We can talk about it another time.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You think I would take her away from you. That’s what you think of me.”

“Maybe I just needed you to reassure us, Jesus, Aaron.” Willie puts his head in his hands and Aaron looks away, staring up at the ceiling and trying to put all of his emotions in order through sheer force of will. 

“I have a game tomorrow,” he says finally. “I can’t do this right now. You’re right, we should put it on hold.”

“Aw, fuck.” Willie drops his hands to his lap and nods. “The playoffs are not the time to talk about heavy shit. I’m sorry.”

Megan frowns at them. “Isn’t this a little more important than hockey, guys?”

There’s a long moment where they both just stare at her, then catch themselves and start to laugh. And that’s--it’s better, a little bit better, enough of the tension drains away that they can go to breakfast and stuff. Aaron doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to get away from them.

But things still aren’t really okay anymore.

**

The Panthers lose in the conference finals, which is so much worse than going out in the first round. Part of it is just that Aaron’s so much more exhausted. He eats all day and never stops being hungry, he sleeps all the time and never stops being tired, but it’s more than physical, his brain just can’t seem to drag itself up out of a thick dark sludge.

He puts off flying home to Canada for a week after locker clean-out, telling his parents he needs to wrap up some things in Florida but really just spending the days lying around his house. The front office calls him to make sure he knows he’s definitely getting the C in the fall, and he thanks them for the honor knowing he doesn’t sound happy about it at all. Right now it just feels like another weight being laid on his shoulders. He can’t breathe under all this weight.

The last day before his flight home, he gets himself to go to the beach. He sits by the water for a few hours, just watching the waves, until gradually he starts noticing the people around him. Guys and girls his own age surfing and sunning themselves, but some families, too, little kids digging in the sand or squealing in the shallows. 

There’s one set of parents with a little blonde girl, who has to have both of them holding her hands before she’s willing to go anywhere near the water. Watching them together makes Aaron’s stomach twist and flop around so bad he has to get up and go into the waves just to distract himself.

But when he gets home, he sends an email to Willie and Megan, asking if their standing offer for him to come out there is still open. He needs to go home, he needs to see his family and friends and set up his offseason training plan, but he can take a week in July. If they want to see him. If it’s okay.

**

Vancouver Island is really pretty. Aaron is nervous as hell and things are still awkward between him and Willie on the drive from the airport to their house, but the island is beautiful. 

Willie reaches over and touches his knee gently at one point, when they’ve fallen into a strained silence. “We missed you. I know we fucked up and you have every right to be hurt, but… we missed you a lot and we’re both really glad you wanted to come out here.”

“I missed you too.” Aaron isn’t sure if it’s the right thing to do, but he’s suddenly so desperate to touch, so he covers Willie’s hand with his. “I just… I really need you to trust me, okay?”

“I know.”

“I’m not a kid. I’m not stupid. I can make my own decisions.”

“I know that, bud. Neither of us thought any of that. Just…” He sighs and hits the turn signal, then takes the turn so hard that Aaron grabs for the handle over the door. “It wasn’t really based in any logic, you know? Just fear. Apparently fear is a big part of being a parent.”

“I’m not going to take her away from you.” Aaron stares out the window, still holding on tightly to the handle. “Part of why I’m here, I guess, is to figure out if I…”

He can’t finish his sentence, because he’s pretty sure the look on Willie’s face if he says _if I even want anything to do with her at all_ will break his heart, and he’s had enough of that this year. Instead he lapses into silence, and leaves Willie glancing at him expectantly for the next mile or so.

He doesn’t push when Aaron doesn’t say anything, though, and that’s a relief. It feels like a tiny step toward being okay again.

Seeing Megan is another step, a bigger one--she comes out of the house and hugs him in the driveway, almost jumping up into his arms. He closes his eyes and breathes in the smell of her and it’s like something cracks free in his chest, a shell that formed around his heart breaking open.

“You’re finally here,” she says, laughing against his neck, and he hugs her tight, blinking away a few traitorous tears. That lasts until he looks over at Willie, who’s watching them with a face that cracks Aaron open even farther.

Then he’s really crying for real, reaching out to bring Willie into their hug, too. When they’re all together, touching each other, it’s like he can really think for the first time since that afternoon in April. Like he can breathe. 

“She just went down for her nap,” Megan says softly, “so we have an hour or so just the three of us? If you want?”

“Please.” His voice cracks a little and he frees one hand to wipe the tears off his face and fight for control. “I really do.”

**

They don’t have sex, just curl up in bed and hold each other. They don’t even _talk_ , which is a relief, because if he had to talk he would probably just cry more. Too embarrassing. He would have to make up an excuse and leave.

Instead, they hold each other and he falls asleep anyway, waking up to find the sun significantly lower in the window and Willie stretched out beside him reading on his tablet.

“Crap,” Aaron mumbles, dragging himself into a sitting position and rubbing his face in his hands. “How long was I asleep? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“About three hours.” Willie glances at him, then puts his tablet down and reaches to brush Aaron’s hair back off his face. “And we could tell you needed the sleep. You looked about half dead.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re stressed out and burning yourself up at both ends.”

Aaron shrugs, turning his eyes away. “Lot going on, I guess.”

“Well, there’s not a lot going on here. You can get as much rest as you want.” Willie’s hand drops to Aaron’s shoulder, then the back of his neck. “Okay?”

Aaron doesn’t want to shrug him off, but he has to. “There are _some_ things going on here, though. That we need to talk about, and stuff.”

Willie’s hand drops to the bed with a thump. “Right. Well.” He turns the tablet off and gets out of bed slowly and carefully enough to make Aaron wince. He should have asked how Willie was feeling, instead of just being an asshole. He’s already ruining this whole visit. Great.

“First you should probably _meet_ the thing we need to talk about, eh?” Willie holds his hand out. “C’mon, bud.”

Not taking his hand would be fucking up even worse, so Aaron does, and lets Willie pull him out of the bed and down the hall to the living room. Megan and Danica are sitting on the floor, late-afternoon sunlight streaming in around them. Danica is making baby noises, little chirps and giggles that Aaron can’t even begin to identify. They seem like happy sounds, though. Megan is smiling, and Willie does, too, looking at them.

“Hey, look at my girls,” he says, going over and sitting down next to Meg. It’s a slow, careful descent, and Aaron’s heart jumps in his chest again, but once Willie’s on the floor he just takes hold of Danica and pulls her close to him for kisses. “Danica, you want to meet Uncle Aaron? He came to meet you.”

 _No I didn’t_ , Aaron thinks, frantically, dizzily. _I came to visit, I didn’t come to meet the baby, I just--_ But Willie is holding her up to see him, and it’s not like he can run away.

So he walks over and squats down next to them, studying the round little face that’s turned his way. “Hey, Danica.” He doesn’t know what else to say. What do you say to babies? “Um. How’s it going?” She stares at him, her eyes wide and her mouth falling open. “Um.”

Then she laughs, and _smiles_ , and… and okay. Yeah. He can see it.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” he says, looking at Megan. “That sure is… wow, even on a baby, it’s all…”

“Lopsided,” Willie supplies. 

“Crooked.” Megan reaches out and traces Aaron’s lips with her fingertip, and he can’t help but smile, too. “Just like yours. In the same direction, even.”

“It is.” Aaron can feel himself blushing. “Uh. She’s cute, though. Not dorky like me.”

Meg shakes her head and taps his lower lip lightly. “I am one hundred percent positive that you were a cute baby, Aaron.” She turns to Willie next, brushing her hand over his hair. “If I grab the bag, can you go ahead and change her right here? She’s ready and I know that making you stand up again will add ten minutes to the process.”

“You’re a mean wife.” Willie kisses her wrist and hugs Danica to his chest again. “But yeah, of course, grab the stuff and I’ll take care of it.”

Aaron kind of wants to scream, watching them. _Look_ , he thinks as hard as he can. _Look! Look at how you’re her parents! How you can do this! I’m not part of that and I never could be!_

He can’t say that out loud, though, so he leans back against the couch and watches them. They’re a cute little family. He’s glad he could give them this, even if he doesn’t fit in at all.

**

He stays on Van Isle for a week and a half, and it’s a good visit; Willie and Megan make sure he gets lots of time with each of them one-on-one, and time with them both together when Danica’s asleep, and they never leave him alone with her. He wouldn’t know what to do if he was alone with her. He would panic, and they know it. They really get him.

On his last night there, Megan is reading a book out on the porch while Willie and Aaron watch TV with the baby. Danica falls asleep in Willie’s arms, and it’s… it’s really cozy, sitting there, the three of them. Aaron is leaning on Willie’s shoulder, close enough that he can smell the baby shampoo and soft indistinct _baby_ smell of her. 

“This is nice,” Aaron mumbles. Willie shifts under him a little, adjusting Danica in his arms, and Aaron can just imagine the smile that accompanies the movement.

“It is nice. It’s been great, having you here, you know?”

“It’s been great being here.”

Willie frees one hand and squeezes Aaron’s knee. “You’re welcome any time you want. I mean it. A quick getaway mid-season, the All-Star break, Christmas…”

Aaron lifts his head enough to glare at him. “Why am I not at the All-Star game?”

“Oh my god.” Willie laughs out loud and Danica stirs, making a soft noise that quickly rises to a wail. “Uh-oh, sorry, kiddo. No, no, go back to sleep.” Aaron sits up to let him soothe her and watches the two of them for a moment. 

“I’m glad you’re her dad,” he says finally. “I mean. I wouldn’t know how to do this at all. I would be so bad at it. I couldn’t make her stop crying, like, at all.”

“It’s something you learn, Aaron. You don’t know right off the bat. I definitely didn’t. I spent the first couple of months totally terrified. I’m _still_ totally terrified most of the time.”

“No, I know that. I mean, I’ve heard that, about kids. But, like…” Aaron gestures helplessly between them. He’s so bad at words. This would be a great time to be better with words. “I don’t think I even have, like, the potential in me. I’m missing that part, I think. The part that could be a dad, ever.”

Willie is looking at him all _worried_ now, so probably he didn’t explain that right. “Aaron. I don’t think that’s true at all. You’re not missing anything.”

“I don’t think it’s, like, a bad thing! It’s just who I am. I’m not a… a parent. It’s not my thing.”

Danica squeaks in her sleep and Willie holds her closer, rubbing her back. “If that’s how you feel, then it’s how you feel, but… don’t close the door forever, eh? It might just be a right-now thing.”

Aaron’s pretty sure it’s a forever thing, but Willie has a point. He usually does; that’s why he was Aaron’s mentor on the team, he’s older and smarter and he knows things. 

So Aaron nods and settles deeper into the couch, leaning back away from Willie now. “You’re right. I won’t close any doors.”

**

The rest of the summer is really busy, training and making sure he gets in time with his parents and Darien and his old friends at home. He doesn’t want to leave anyone out or disappoint anybody, and he won’t have _any_ time during the season this year, not once he’s the captain. He’s going to have so much on his plate, and so much pressure to do everything right. 

If he thinks about it too hard, he starts to panic, so he does his best not to think about it at all. That’s a problem for September, not August.

Willie and Meg keep sending him pictures and texts, and they FaceTime every couple of weeks. It’s nice, something he can kind of rely on. He doesn’t let himself lean on it too much, though. He has to really stand on his own now.

**

He gets down to Florida about a week before camp and goes to one of his favorite beachfront bars, one where they’ve never carded him even once and the burgers are amazing. There are always lots of hot guys and pretty girls there, too, a mix of locals and vacationers here for the beach, and he knows it’ll be easy to find someone who wants to go home with him. Not to brag or whatever, but it always is.

The girl he hooks up with is named Liz, and she’s tall, with dark hair and a faded Blue Jays tank top that catches his attention. She’s not from Toronto, she stole the shirt from an old roommate, but by the time she tells him that there isn’t really any doubt that they’re going home together. Life stories are optional.

She stays the night and he makes breakfast in the morning, not just cereal or bagels but Megan’s special-recipe French toast. Liz is so impressed that he can cook, she drags him back to the bedroom again as soon as they finish eating. And she puts her number in his phone before she goes home. 

It’s been a while since he’s thought about dating someone. Like dating-dating, for real, not the way he and Willie and Megan were together. But he can imagine it with Liz, maybe. If the next time they hook up goes well. And if she’s cool about it when he explains to her about hockey, and his schedule, and that being the captain is going to make it really, really complicated.

But if all that works out… maybe.

**

He sort of dates Liz for two whole months before she sees a picture of Danica on his laptop and gets upset.

He comes back into the bedroom after his shower and finds her sitting on the bed staring at his laptop like she saw a ghost instead of afternoon movie times. “Liz? What’s wrong?”

She looks up at him, her eyes wide and confused and he really can’t think of anything on his computer that would freak her out that much. He’s a pretty simple guy. He doesn’t download porn to the hard drive anyway, and he clears out the cache on his browser, like, all the time. “Liz?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” 

“That you have a kid!” She shoves the laptop toward him and he grabs it, spinning it around to look at the screen. It’s a picture of Danica sitting in the yard outside Willie and Megan’s house, smiling up at the camera and holding a teddy bear with the Panthers logo stitched on its chest.

Aaron tries to laugh, but it comes out a little forced. “She’s not my kid, Liz.”

“Don’t lie! She looks just like you! She has your smile!”

Something is looking out for him, because the words that tumble out are totally plausible. “She’s my niece. My brother’s kid. He and I look a lot alike. People make the mistake all the time if they see us together.”

“Oh!” She sort of flops forward as the tension goes out of her shoulders, and he sits down next to her to pull her into his arms. “God, I’m sorry, of course. You never mentioned you have a niece! I didn’t realize.”

His smile is just as forced. It hurts. “I guess it didn’t come up. I don’t see her very often this time of year. The schedule and everything.”

They end up having sex instead of going to a movie. It’s weird because he already knows he has to break up with her now. He can’t keep up a lie about having a niece. The first time she talks to anybody in his family it will all fall apart. 

He never really thought about how this side of things would work at all.

**

The season rolls on without giving a shit about his dumb romantic problems. They're having a solid year, not at the top of the conference but tight in the race. He feels good about his game. He feels like he's finally close to being the leader they want him to be.

Then he goes down in a scrum against Philly and can't get back up. 

The verdict is a partially torn PCL and generally some fucked-up shit in his knee. The prognosis is surgery, rehab, losing the rest of his season. The doctor gently tells him that even the beginning of next season is up in the air; it all depends on what his body does.

Aaron's body has always obeyed him. He doesn't know what to do with this idea that it won't.

He flies home from the roadie, agrees to show up at the hospital on Tuesday, goes back to his condo with his crutches and painkillers. He goes to bed and sleeps for almost a whole day.

When he wakes up Willie is there, jetlagged and puffy-eyed, leaning on the doorbell like it personally offended him.

“Shit, bud,” he says when Aaron drags himself to the door. “Always the goddamn knees, eh?”

**

Aaron sleeps a lot in the days after the surgery. It goes well, and he's not abusing his pills or anything, he's just… really tired. Wiped out. He wants to rest.

And Willie lets him. He does the laundry, he cooks and cleans up, he brings Aaron a bucket to piss in when he doesn't want to stand up and helps him to the toilet when he does. He doesn't say one word of judgment or scolding. He just takes care of everything.

“You don't have to parent me,” Aaron tells him. “You don't even have to stay. There must be, like, fishing and stuff you want to do at home.”

“It's December,” Willie says mildly. “There's better fishing down here, really.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do.” Willie shifts an ice pack on Aaron's knee. “I'm not parenting you, by the way. I'm partnering you.”

This is where the pills do suck. Aaron blinks away tears. “You don't have to do that either.” 

“I want to.”

“You should be home with Meg and Danica.”

Willie sighs and leans in close to him. His beard brushes Aaron's skin, and Aaron wants to kiss him, and he wants to cry. “We want you to be home with us, too.”

“You don't mean that.”

“We do, babe.” Willie sighs again, so close, warm on Aaron's skin. “What do I have to do to make you believe it?”

Aaron shuts his eyes and kisses him, giving up and going for it, feeling like he's been defeated and like he's grabbing the goddamn game-winning goal at once.

Willie kisses him back, like he wants to do it forever.

**

Willie stays. Aaron keeps almost asking him when he’s going back to Van Isle, but he chickens out every time. He doesn’t want to know when Willie’s leaving, because it feels so good having him here. 

They can’t really have sex, between the painkillers and Aaron not being able to move his knee. They make out, though, long and slow, so good it makes him dizzy. 

They talk a lot, too, or Willie talks and Aaron just closes his eyes and soaks it in, letting the words move around him like salt water. Willie talks about recovering from injury and coming back to the ice again. He talks about getting older and your body starting to insist on doing things its way instead of your head being able to boss it around. He talks about finding acceptance in your heart for the things that change, and cherishing the things that stay the same. 

And he talks about love, about finding people who love you and loving them back. 

Aaron listens, and he sleeps, and he just lets the words keep splashing around him in waves. Maybe some of it sinks in, reshaping him like the edge of a beach. It probably takes a while to see the difference.

**

His parents come down to see how he’s doing. Willie makes himself scarce, staying with the Luongos. It shouldn’t be weird not having him around--it should be _normal_ not to have him around, dammit, it’s been years--but he feels it like something in his chest is torn, too, a constant nagging ache.

He texts Megan while his parents are out picking up groceries. _Thanks for loaning me Willie for so long._

She answers really quickly; Danica must be down for a nap. _It’s not a loan when you’re the co-owner, you know. :P_

He sends her back a picture of his wrapped-up knee. _Funny. :) Look at my dumb leg._

 _Poor baby_ is the first, quick reply. But then, a minute later--

_You know I’m not kidding, right?_

Aaron’s stomach flips over and he closes his eyes tightly, trying to breathe through the mess of emotions churned up when reality keeps insisting on running into what he’s got to believe to keep himself sane.

 _FaceTime tonight?_ he asks instead of answering her question. _At like 10? Please._

_Of course, Aaron. Anything you need._

**

His parents go to bed early, but he still locks himself in the bathroom with his iPad to talk to her. “Hey,” he says when she signs in. “Sorry to bug you. It’s only, like, 7 there, right? Is she in bed already? If she’s still up I can call you back later, it’s fine, I didn’t think.”

“Aaron. Relax. Breathe.” She smiles at the camera and he just--he really, really wishes she was here, too. “She’s in bed. It’s okay.”

He nods a little and tries to pull his thoughts in order. There’s important stuff to talk about, he knows there is, but he’s fuzzy on both the painkillers and the pain in his knee that’s cutting through them because he couldn’t take his night dose on time if he wanted to stay awake to talk to Megan. The combination makes it hard to think.

“What’s wrong?” she asks softly. “Talk to me.”

“He’s here because he loves me? Really?”

She blinks slowly, then sighs and covers her face with her hands. “Aaron.”

“What?”

“How many years now have we been going over this? The story hasn’t _changed_.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense.” He knows he sounds plaintive, whiny, but he can’t help it. None of this fits together in his brain. “You guys live really far away and you have a kid and I’m not good enough for you.”

“Where in the world did you get that idea?”

Her tone settles into his head before her words do. She’s frustrated edging into genuinely mad. That hadn’t been his plan at all. “Don’t be mad, Meg.”

“How can I not be mad? You’re telling me you think we’ve been stringing you along for all this time? Using you or something? We’ve told you how much we love you fifty thousand times and you’re still questioning it? Why don’t you just actually spit in our faces, Aaron, that would be easier.”

He is definitely not in enough control of his brain to keep up with this. “That’s not… that’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” 

“You guys are perfect and I’m so, so dumb in love with you and it scares me because… because that’s vulnerable, and stuff, and if I screw it up and lose you it’s gonna hurt. So much. I don’t know if I can take it.”

Meg takes a deep breath and looks away from the camera for a minute. When she looks back, he can see tears in her eyes, threatening to escape. That’s even worse than before. Everything about this is worse than before, because it’s his fault.

“Don’t cry,” he says desperately. “Please, Meg, don’t cry.”

“I love you, Aaron.” Her voice is low and unsteady and god, he fucked this up so bad. “Maybe you should ask Will about what can help you believe that. I think he understands the way you think better than I do.”

“I don’t even understand how I think,” he mumbles. 

“Maybe he can help. Because I sure can’t.”

She hangs up and he sits there for a few minutes, looking down at the screen like a new window will open up with a way to make sense of all this.

When it doesn’t, he hobbles back to his bedroom and orders an Uber off his phone. He needs to talk to Willie right now. Willie will still be awake, even if the Luongos aren’t. Aaron knows that about him.

**

It’s hard to make a dramatic entrance when he gets out of the Uber and pukes on Lu’s driveway from the pain. 

Willie’s too pissed at him for being stupid and risking setting his recovery back to have a conversation about anything anyway. 

He promises to come over to talk once Aaron’s parents have gone home, though. That will have to be good enough.

Lu drives Aaron home and sits with him at the curb for a minute, just looking at him. 

“What?” Aaron asks finally. “Just say it, whatever it is.”

“When are you going to stop being such an idiot?”

Aaron sighs and slumps in his seat. His leg hurts too much for this. “Probably never.”

“Not good enough. You had a fucking baby with them. You’re in love with them. They’re in love with you. Quit fighting it and figure out how to make it work.”

“She’s not my baby,” Aaron says. It’s like autopilot now. He can’t help it.

“Don’t lie to me. I have eyes. So do other people, by the way, and Mitchie and Meg totally suck at discretion.” Lu hits the brakes hard and Aaron bounces off his seatbelt. “Good luck when somebody less tactful than me figures it out.”

Lu is about as tactful as a punch to the groin. Aaron doesn’t want to think about this. “It’s not… I’m not. They’re her parents.”

“You don’t have to tell me which parts of parenting count. I have two of the little shitheads and it’s not the DNA that matters. It’s that I love them more than anything.”

“What’s your point?”

Lu leans across the car and smacks the back of Aaron’s head. “I just told you. Stop fighting it and figure out how to make it work. Whether you want to claim the kid or not. That part doesn’t actually matter. She’s got a dad whether you want to be another dad, or a fun uncle, or just the weird guy who lives over the garage and makes her parents happy.”

“I’m not gonna live over the garage,” Aaron mumbles.

Lu hits him again. “Figure it out.”

**

Aaron’s parents don’t leave until the weekend, which gives him plenty of time to panic about how talking to Willie is going to go. The worst part is knowing that the delay is giving Willie and Megan plenty of time to think about this, too, and probably decide that it’s too much trouble, that _he_ is too much trouble, that if he doesn’t understand by now he never will. He might have reached his last chance and blown it without ever knowing.

He needs to heal faster so he can have PT to focus on instead of being stuck in his head and trapped in his apartment. His body isn’t interested in that request, though. He tries to push himself when he’s helping his parents get their stuff together to leave; that ends with him back in bed with an icepack and some extra painkillers while they take a cab to the airport without him. 

He’s bad at this. Just… bad.

He falls asleep like that and wakes up to find evening sunlight slanting through the windows, his ice pack a bag of melted puddle by his side, and Willie stretched out next to him. Willie’s arm is thrown across his eyes and he’s breathing slow and steady like he’s asleep. It gives Aaron a few minutes to stare at him and run through a list of questions in his head--How long has Willie been there? How did he know it was time to come over? Was having him there why Aaron slept so deep for so long? 

He wants to put his head down on Willie’s chest and fall back asleep. He wants Willie to hold him. He wants to stay in bed with him for days, not having hard conversations but just… being together. And he wants Meg to be there, too. All of them together.

While he’s at it, he’d like a Cup ring and a private jet. He’s so dumb about this.

He edges closer to Willie, resting his forehead against Willie’s shoulder and taking a slow, shaky breath. This is good. Touching is good, being together is good. Hopefully Willie will stay asleep so Aaron can have this without the hard conversation ruining it.

No such luck. Willie jolts under him and then shifts, rubbing his face with both hands. The movement bumps Aaron aside, and he slowly pulls away, sitting up as best he can and leaning back against the headboard. “Hey.”

“Mm. Hey.” Willie scrubs at his face again and then drops his hands to the bed, blinking at the ceiling and then looking at Aaron. “How are you feeling?”

Aaron shrugs. “I overdid it a little earlier.”

“You gotta be careful, Aaron. This stage of recovery is tricky, you don’t want to set yourself back.”

Willie lecturing him like a captain is apparently hard-wired into his brain to feel soothing and safe, even after this long. Aaron wants to shut his eyes and list against Willie like a kid again. 

Instead he clears his throat and sits up straighter, rubbing his hands on his thighs. “So… we should talk about stuff, I guess, huh?”

“Do you need some water first? Or the toilet? And can I have a beer in my hand?”

That’s a lot of questions to sort through fast. “Yeah, no, and yeah.”

“Stay put.” Willie pats him on the shoulder and gets out of the bed, scratching at his ass through his boxers. Aaron hadn’t even realized he wasn’t wearing pants while they were lying down together. That must be a good sign, Willie taking clothes off to lie down with him. Nobody took their clothes off around someone they were going to break up with, right?

When Willie comes back they drink their water and beer in silence, watching the sun streak in the far edge of the window. It won’t be long before it drops out of sight. He’s pretty sure they should start talking before then.

“So I’ve had some completely exhausting conversations with Lu and Megan,” Willie says finally. He’s rolling the neck of his beer bottle between his fingers, swirling the liquid. “She’s kind of freaked out and he thinks we’re all a bunch of idiot assholes.”

“He told me we need to figure things out. I mean, I do. I need to figure things out.”

“Do you _want_ to do that? Or do you want to call it quits?”

“I want to do it. I do. I just…” Aaron sighs and slumps down against the pillows again. “How? How do we figure it out? It’s not… normal. It’s not allowed.”

“Aaron.” Willie takes a long drink and then sets his beer aside. “Don’t tell me you still believe in normal.”

“What?”

“Playing hockey at an elite level isn’t normal. Playing any pro sport isn’t normal. Having your day revolve around eating, naps, and skating isn’t normal. Our lives aren’t normal.”

“Yours is. I mean, it is now.” He knows he has to be careful talking like this, and maybe he’s not getting it right, because Willie’s eyes flash dangerously at just that handful of words. “You and Megan, you’re normal.”

“I guess we _could_ be normal. If we wanted to be. But we don’t.”

“You want…” Aaron falters, feeling heat rising in his face. “You want me.”

Willie raises an eyebrow at him. “Was that a question or a statement?”

“A statement. I get it now.”

“Yeah? You do?” Willie leans in slowly, carefully, and Aaron meets him halfway, trying to put what he feels into the kiss. 

“Hmm,” Willie says, resting their foreheads together. “That was pretty convincing. But I could use a little bit more.”

Aaron takes a deep breath. Right. He has to step up and show that he’s committing, that he’s not going to bolt again. Willie’s got every right to expect that. “What if… what if I promise that when the doctors say it’s okay, I’ll come out to Tofino and stay with you guys while I get better?”

Wille pulls back and blinks at him, his eyes wide. “I… yeah, of course, pal. We would love to have you out there. That would be fantastic.”

“You look kinda surprised.”

“Well, I mean… I didn’t say I wanted more to get you to make promises. I was trying to drop a hint that maybe we could mess around a little.”

“Oh! Oh, right.” Aaron kisses him again, harder this time, trying to say everything he can’t put into words. It’s a lot. Too much, probably. He’s bad at this.

But Willie seems to get it anyway.

**

Willie and Megan don’t have a room above the garage, but when he arrives in Tofino they’ve set up the guest room for him based on everything he liked about his room at their place in Lauderdale, plus stuff Willie picked up while he was supervising Aaron’s sleeping and whining schedule after surgery. Everything is stuff he likes, from the kind of towels to the contents of the mini-fridge in the corner. 

The mini-fridge hadn’t been there the last time he visited. “We don’t want you to feel forced into family time if you want privacy,” Willie tells him, resting his chin on Aaron’s shoulder and slipping his arms around his waist. “This is your room, your bathroom, your space. We won’t follow you in here unless you invite us. And Danica won’t come in at all. Cool?”

Aaron leans back against him, trying to soak up the feeling of Willie touching him. He’s going to have months of this. It doesn’t seem real yet. “It’s not that I don’t like her, you know that, right?”

Willie’s breath is warm against Aaron’s neck as he nods. “Yeah, I know. It’s hard not to like her, eh? She’s a great kid.”

“She is. She’s awesome. I want… I want to see her grow up. I want to be around and stuff, when I can. I love it when you guys send me pictures and videos and whatever.”

“I hear a ‘but’ coming.”

“But I don’t want to be a _parent_.” Aaron sighs and turns around to face him. “I don’t want responsibility for her life. For teaching her how to be a person and stuff. I can’t do it, and I don’t want to do it, and I don’t want to, like, set up wrong expectations.”

“You’re not. You’re being clear.” Willie brushes Aaron’s hair carefully off his forehead. “I guess you’ve been pretty clear all along and we just weren’t listening, huh?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“I think so.” Willie tugs him into another hug. He’s so physical, he likes touching Aaron so much. Aaron fucking craves it. It would be embarrassing if he didn’t know that Willie likes it just as much.

“We’re gonna figure this out.” Aaron rests his head on Willie’s shoulder. “Right?”

“Yeah, we are. We kinda have to. If we don’t, Lu’s gonna be pissed.”

“Shit. You’re right. If we don’t figure this out, I can’t go back to Florida.”

“And you don’t want to renege on that sweet contract.” Willie ruffles his hair and steps back. “So let’s get started figuring.”

**

Figuring out the details takes a while. But the broad strokes--being together, loving each other, Willie and Meg parenting and Aaron making the space where they don’t have to--come together so fast it really seems like it was meant to be. All he had to do was stop fighting and things fall into place.

It’s--it’s really _nice_ to do his physical therapy exercises and then get to go to the kitchen and kiss Megan. It’s nice to follow Willie around the marina, holding paintbrushes and toolboxes and whatever else he might need for his mysterious upkeep chores. It’s nice to fall asleep between them on the couch, Willie’s hand on the back of his neck and Megan’s head on his shoulder.

It’s nice to sit on the floor and watch a video with Danica, too, listening to her steady baby-babble that sounds like she’s thinking really hard about something complicated and important. He likes all of it. He really does.

 _Nice_ is maybe a weak word, but it’s the one he keeps coming back to. He feels safe here, with them, in their little family that they’re figuring out. It’s sort of got a line down the middle, the one he insisted on, the one that keeps him carefully separate from sliding into the role of another dad. That line’s already crossed, of course, at the DNA level, but that’s not what’s keeping him connected. Love is doing that.

Love might be another weak word. He’s okay with that. They’re figuring it out.

**

EPILOGUE 

Aaron shifts his weight, wincing as one of the old familiar pains in his hips starts up. Getting old as a d-man sucks. He's protected his head pretty well, and the advances in concussion medicine have definitely given him a leg up on the guys who played in previous generations, but there's not much anybody can do for joints that got banged around over the course of a long pro hockey career.

He's got one season left. It's weird to think about.

Right now he isn't thinking about it now, not really. He's thinking about how with all the advances in every other kind of engineering and technology, nobody's managed to make stadium seating more comfortable than it was when he was a kid.

Megan bumps his shoulder and hands him a water. “Are you nervous?”

“I'm fine.”

“I mean nervous for her.”

“Oh.” Aaron takes a drink and frowns. “Yeah, actually. This is the big one.”

He doesn't have to look to know that Willie's standing down near the scouts for the under-17 national team. Not bugging them and not schmoozing with them--Danica had made it really, really clear that she didn't want any of them doing anything like that--but just standing nearby. Probably trying to control them with his brain.

“It's a girls’ soccer game,” Meg says, rolling her own water bottle between her hands. “Not a big deal. Not the end of the world.”

Aaron looks at her out of the corner of his eye. “Still not making peace with having another pro athlete in the family, eh?”

“She is not a pro.”

“Yet.”

“Shut up.” The team runs out onto the field and Meg sits up straighter. “Oh, here we go.”

Danica is the best on the field by far, but Aaron knows that doesn't mean she's one of the best in the country, necessarily. It doesn't mean she's what the scouts are looking for. Willie and Meg have told her a thousand times that this isn't a verdict on her worth as a person or anything like that, it's just one piece of her life, she's gonna have a lot more pieces, a lot more awesome things regardless…

When she'd cornered Aaron and asked him what he thought, he got to be honest with her. The perks of not being a parent.

“If they don't pick you it'll suck,” he told her. “You'll be sad and angry and it'll hurt a lot. Then you'll go work harder and try again for the next time. You're a Mitchell. Mitchells don't quit.”

She had relaxed a little bit at that, but she was too much her parents’ daughter not to have a smart remark. “How would you know? Have you ever not been picked for anything?”

He had put on his best serious captain face and pointed at the door, but she just laughed at him. “You're the best, Uncle Eks.”

“I'm the only Uncle Eks,” he said solemnly, and it made her laugh, like every time.

Willie comes up to join them at the first break. “She looks good, eh?” He takes a water from Megan, his eyes straying back to the field. “If the damn wingers would do their jobs--”

“No backseat coaching,” Meg says. “We have rules for a reason.”

“It's true, though.” Aaron leans forward to talk to Willie around her. “They're not playing as a team, they're a Dani support system, and that's not--”

“Stop or I will punish you both,” Meg says, and they both blink at her.

“Sexually?” Willie asks finally.

Megan’s eyes narrow. “You're not that lucky.”

The game goes on. Dani's team wins on a corner kick from her that sets her teammate up perfectly. Willie will be extra proud of that, Aaron knows; he's always preached to her about the value of assists.

(Aaron agrees with him in public but he buys Dani a milkshake every time she gets a gwg for herself. More non-parent bonuses.)

Megan grabbed Aaron's hand in the last minute of the game, and they're still holding onto each other when they make their way down to where Willie is leaning over the barrier and talking to Dani on the track. “Great job, baby,” he says as they walk up. “Good work keeping your head up.”

“Thanks, Daddy.” She grins at him and then waves to Megan and Aaron. “Hey, Mom. Hey, Eks.”

“Don't keep your coach waiting,” Aaron says, steadying Meg while she leans over the barrier to touch Dani's face. “Team meeting stuff. Get moving.”

She rolls her eyes at him and grins as she runs off, and Willie steps closer to Meg and Aaron, taking her free hand and sliding his arm around Aaron's waist.

“We've got a good one,” he says, and they all smile. They're so dumb about each other, still. All of them.

“Your daughter had a hell of a kick,” says a woman walking by to the exit. “You must be very proud.”

“We are,” Meg says, squeezing both of their hands. “Thanks.”

“And somehow she looks just like all three of you!” the woman laughs, glancing back and forth among them.

Aaron shrugs, leaning into Willie's arm and holding onto Meg tight. “Well, we're family.”


End file.
